That evening, I had helped my mom organize exhibits, color-coding sections of evidence and even helped make sure all those hole punches lined up just so.
My father would be in his office with a single yellow legal pad, handwriting thoughts, most likely arguments or questions to be anticipated. I remember how much coffee he would drink, how many times he'd look to my mom and I with eyes lined with thought and exhaustion and how he'd stare up at his volumes of legal books for guidance.
This is what I remember. This is what I know.
Moments like that are uniquely impressionable. They hold responsibility for everything in my life that followed them.
I actually recall when he and my mom looked at me and explained how that case I had helped with ended with the right result, the result that brought smiles and joy and relief to my parents.
I'll never forget the embrace that this client bestowed on my parents after the fact. It's the kind of embrace that holds your heart tight, interminably.
It's the kind that molds the future of a young girl who would fall asleep in a law office lobby.
Today, I find myself closing my second year of law school.
I could sit here and describe a typical law school scene (stress, anxiety, immeasurable and unending challenges) but that would not accurately portray what law school is truly about.
Certainly the experience is about you, but it's also about coming to the realization that one's experience with law is what you make it to be.
Among the doldrums of casebooks and the dust that will inevitably fall from the library stacks and cloud your mind with questions like "Why am I here?" there is a higher calling constantly present, a good calling - one that is asking every person to seek a higher standard.
Call it justice, or call it virtue, or call it just doing your job or doing the right thing, but above all else know what you're actually calling yourself to do with the skills you're acquiring.
It's not about dreams of a fancy car or acquiring a heightened sense of self-gratification as many students do. Yes it's about the money (it is an occupation), but is it about accruing salary without also gaining appreciation for the ability to do good while earning it?
How much do you value the smile of relief, the tears of joy, the calm one may feel from newly-gained safety or security when justice springs peace?
How much do you value the trust one desperately bestows upon you with the hope that you will protect what's dear to them - their family, their fortune, their job-security, their dignity, their life?
As an attorney, as a student, you're called to value those things.
How much do you value the trust one desperately bestows upon you with the hope that you will protect what's dear to them - their family, their fortune, their job-security, their dignity, their life?
As an attorney, as a student, you're called to value those things.
I guess my point, as difficult as it is to articulate, is that I am urging every person considering law school to really ask yourself - what type of feeling are you willing to embrace?
Because that feeling better be one that will last throughout law school until your final day of practice.
If it's one of joy and compassion for others, if it's one that makes you feel encouraged and motivated, if it's one that will one day paint a vision for your child that is positive then I'd say hold tight and keep holding on to that sincerity.
It's what they call "the love of the game". It's what brings relief when the work gets hard.
It's the joy that embraces you when you've reached accomplishment. It's what makes you hone in on your skills each and every time.
It comes from love. Love for others, love for your family, love for your ability to bring joy.
And it's the only thing that will make sure you get a good night's rest.
When we are such as He (and) can love without impediment, we shall in fact be happy. - C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
*If you are considering law school, I urge you to think long-term and to ask as many people as possible what called them to law school. I get so many Facebook messages about law school and am always happy to share my experiences in whatever detail friends would like. My experience is as close as family. It's the sort of love that has kept me on this journey. Best of luck.
Cheers and all the best,
B
